Titles: Wife. Mother. Employee. Cook. Cleaner. Homemaker. Caretaker.
Hobbies: Self-care. Beauty. Fitness. Health. Baking.
The lists go on. Society makes it abundantly clear what boxes a woman needs to check to be considered happy, well-rounded, and successful. But what if we focused on what feels authentic in our lives? What if we dedicated our time to doing what we like and delegating responsibilities that we dislike? These are questions Dr. Ali Hill, managing partner of Sound Advice Consulting Services and Founder of Sound Advice Women, brought up when discussing changing the narrative with Room Redefined.
Overcompensating by Doing All the Things
As a woman who has made a career out of empowering and enabling other women to embrace their potential, Hill has a unique perspective of what the narrative is and how we go about changing it.
She knows society’s narrative, that women’s basic roles are to be mothers, caregivers, and keepers of the home, is dangerous and false. We need to push against the narrative that we do not belong. But often, when women push back, we overcompensate by doing all the things. And as Hill points out, “In so doing, we destroy ourselves. We put strains on ourselves, on our relationships. And then nobody wins.” It is unrealistic and damaging to ask women to do it all and to do it all without support.
“We want women to feel that they can participate fully as themselves. We’re not asking them to be all things. We are asking them to focus on the thing that they do best. The thing that lights them up. The thing that gives them energy,” says Hill. One way to focus on what brings you joy? Making room for others in your life to lift some of the burden and support you. “Find your enablers that will do the thing that to you feels onerous and to them purposeful,” says Hill.
Allowing for enablers is empowering and productive. Hill continues to say, “It’s not being selfish, it’s being smart about the best way to get something done.” Finding people capable of and willing to take on tasks that you don’t have the time, energy, or expertise to take on is not a sign of incompetence, as society tells us, but a sign of intelligence. Hill is of the mindset that by finding other women with skills that complement hers is how we create a better product because everyone is focused on doing what they do best.
“Getting out of the narrative that we have to be all of the things is its own form of liberation,” reflects Hill.
What Feels Authentic in Your Life
Hill is methodical in her advice on how to change the narrative. “Check where the narrative came from. Once you know where the narrative came from you need to decide what pieces of it you agree and disagree with. Think about what narratives you can fill in with.”
A full circle change will only happen once we become fully aware that a narrative exists, where it came from, rejecting or accepting it, and find a process to move forward with our reflections in a way that better serves us.
(P.S. If you like this step-by-step snippet, check out Dr. Hill’s full course, Solopreneur to CEO.)
Changing the narrative stems from leaning into what feels authentic in your life. It’s about making choices, creating boundaries, releasing responsibility to other people, and accepting that there is no one size fits all approach to the process.
A Lasting Change
Hill also reflects on the impact we make when our children see us navigating this process and making these decisions. “We’re modeling for them, and in doing so, they can grow up and focus on doing what they’re good at.” As they grow, our children shouldn’t know any different – they shouldn’t have self-doubt when delegating and they should have full faith in their ability in deciding how to best use their time.
Changing the narrative has generational impact on empowerment and ability. It’s enabling ourselves and our children to reject the idea that we must know or be good at everything. It’s striving to reach the mindset where we don’t even pause when we choose to delegate responsibilities. And it’s knowing the value of our time and what it means to focus on doing what we are best at.
Hill doesn’t doubt herself. She trusts in her skills and knows that her time is best spent doing what she is good at instead of feeling guilty about the things she’s not doing. “I want to live in the world where I feel confident, capable and kick-ass all of the time.”
As professional organizers, Room Redefined is constantly working with clients who feel the strain of wanting to have a well-organized space to support them but may not have the time to focus on this objective. We believe this should not be a source of guilt, but rather, an opportunity for us to re-examine the pressures put upon all of us by society’s narrative. Because organizing
your spaces and taking that weight off your shoulders is what we do best, collaborating with us helps you focus on and celebrate your own strengths. Room Redefined is striving to change the narrative and make a lasting change in society. We embrace our role as enablers – whether it’s in your home, business, or school – and encourage you to release some of your responsibility so we can all do what we do best and enjoy doing it without guilt.
Erin Gaskins is owner of Room Redefined, a professional organizing company based in Denver, Colorado. After 25 years in public education, Erin decided to put her passion for organizing to work in the service of others and entered the entrepreneurship journey. Five years later, Room Redefined stands out in their dedication to offering customized organizing services to homeowners, businesses, and schools. She and her company are strongly committed to the work of changing society’s narrative- helping other women feel comfortable with the notion that we are all stronger when we give up the “superwoman complex” and work together to accomplish our goals!